I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
