Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
