I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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