The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
