Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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