i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
