she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
