Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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