I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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