i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
