The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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