Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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