I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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