Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
