Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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