What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
