no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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