i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
