Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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