wakey wakey hands off snakey
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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