Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I need a beard to bite.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
