Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
