So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
