i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
