Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
