Non-Jews are for practice
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
