You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
