this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
