oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im holly from the hills drunk
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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