The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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