So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
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he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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