i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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