hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize