I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
