Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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