I hope mine doesn't look like that
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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