I'm going to jail i love you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
