For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
