Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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