Don't make out with my wife yet
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
