I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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