My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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