Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
