So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And my parents said I crawled through the house