I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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