lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think my fart just growled at me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'