Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival