My first STD was from a foam party
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods