She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize