I love black thongs
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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