I wanna bring you to show and tell
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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