Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
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Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
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I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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