and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
