Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize