If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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