Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
