I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
