ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
