Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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