I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
