She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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