Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?