They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do herpes really smell.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
