the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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