Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
