Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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