you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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