Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just gift wrapped bread.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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