Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
