Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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