The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
