So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
