umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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