9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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