I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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