You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
